Life seems like a complex puzzle now that we’ve spread our wings and try to catch the winds of luck and fortune. Is that all we really want? Has society brought everyone to the conclusion that a fat wallet and huge walls is the epitome of success? I always ask myself, then what? What comes after?
This blog is about small excerpts from my life. Each tiny incident, which changed my life for the good, however bad it was, in no particular order.
Forgive the English, I do write the blog, truly, for benefit of my own. Nevertheless, in a planet of 7.7 billion, conscious, sentient inhabitants (that we know of), a few, fortunate or unfortunate, would have lived or are living the same if not exact sequence of events.
In each excerpt I will try to give it a conclusion or a moral, as cliché as it sounds. And I hope it would help someone going through something similar.
It was summer vacation and I was in love. Vacation? I must’ve been a child, correct? And, in love? What does a child know of being ‘in love’? Honestly, I think that’s the only girl I ever loved/will love.
I woke up, and the first thing on my mind is her. She was really an amazing person. Beauty and Brains. We met in year 6 and got to talking a lot. Initially I was pretty mean to her, kicked her on the shin too, little did I know, I was in pure love. First love!
Everywhere I would go, I would wish to see her. To meet her outside of school and talk to her. Inside school I was very, I hate to say it, shy, to talk to her. I never ever made a stand, manned up, grew some balls and showed her who I could be.
This morning, I was hurrying up to go to tuition. Walking through the basement, I was thinking about her. The love I had for her was pure, unscathed of lust.
As I approached the gate, I see two girls, instead of one. I was taken aback, have my thoughts manifested into reality? I was so unprepared for this. SHE CAME TO MEET ME!
I still remember, she was talking to the other girl, who used to go to tuition with me. We never spoke or made eye contact because we hated each other for some reason we both dont know.
She (the love) turned to look at me, and I was just shocked. She wasn’t in school uniform and looked a thousand times better. Purple top, skinny jeans, she was truly a creation of god. As I approached she expected me to meet her and hang out with her.
But as the genius I am, I just nodded in such a way that I put out the image that I was oblivious to her existence. I nodded away my chance with the girl of my dreams.
I know I sound like a cheap romantic creepy f**k right now, but I still haven’t forgotten her. I don’t know if I still love you like that, and I do not want to find out.
You were the hardest thing to get over. To say I got over you is a lie, rather I removed you from the centre of my thoughts. I ignored the feeling you used to give me, until the feeling disappeared completely. In a billion to one chance you read this, I just want you to know that I loved you very dearly. I know I am just a name in the list of boys who obsessed over your persona in its entirety, and I don’t talk in sarcasm, whoever gets to call you theirs, or rather has the mantle of your love, surely will be deserving of it.
I never wanted us to be together, well of course I did, but not in the general path of a relationship hand written by society. I was ok with the fact you were with someone else. Well, I just want to say that I love you unconditionally. Whatever love is, what I had for you was the purest form of it, and I want to thank you being a big influence on my life. At least, I felt that right? Most people go a lifetime without knowing what it is.
Concluding, don’t be afraid to chase the ones you love, people. To this day, I regret not going and talking to her. I let my anxiety take over. I know its hard, but please try to fight it. There’s light at the end of every dark tunnel. Maybe I shifted the very course of my life by not talking to her that day. Always be prepared for what you are praying for or for whatever it is you are trying to manifest. The universe will pop one on you at the most unexpected moment. Pause, take 3 deep breaths, but do not, under any circumstances, miss that moment. When your intention is pure, the universe will shift you into the most favourable reality.
“Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat”
Gravimax Hollow 